Rev Dr Ian Paisley... that still, small voice of calm?

Staff at Bobballs hear that Paisley Snr is to address the Royal Commonwealth Society this evening.

His topic?

Ireland and the Commonwealth: An End to 60 years of separation?

Should be good stuff. Offers good opportunity for the old boy to respond to Bertie's recent Countdown To Unity speech:

As an Irish republican, I believe in a United Ireland. While we deleted the old articles 2 and 3, the republican and nationalist objective of Irish unity, based on consent, remains a fundamental feature of the political philosophy of our Constitution and of this State. It is no mere empty aspiration. It is an imperative.

Really? Well, unification comes the other way too pal! Right, Doc?

What with Bertie waxing all Pearse-like, Robbo saying the IRA's going this time deffo, SF nobbling Brussels money for the Maze hospital wing, the SDLP trying to take back ownership of Irish language, and McNarry doing the antediluvian Uber prod thing (again, everywhere), and the performances of Jim Allister and Nigel Dodds on Let's Talk... Staff at Bobballs are concerned that things are going the teensiet bit sectarian headcount.

How will Paisley play it at the Commonwealth Society? Shows how bad things are getting when Staff at Bobballs look to Dr P as the voice of moderation and sanity.

Seriously, what the hell is going on with people at the moment?

Okay, everyone repeat after us: take a deep breath... hold until the count of three... one.. two... deep breath... three... now release... imagine all the negative energy is leaving you... keep purging.... McNarry, keep purging.... yes, David, all the way out.... purge yourself. Now then, feel better everyone?

Good, now bloody well calm down. Christ.