DUP MEP candidate shocker!! (Erm... if true??)

Yip, time for Staff at Bobballs to rock up with some unnecessary and unsubstantiated speculation on the DUP’s Euro candidate.

So here it is. We spotted this and thought... hang on, that’s interesting!

So Donaldson and Poots do this ‘save our old people’ campaign event (top voting demographic... solid numbers... smart move...), supply some visible patronage/endorsement to seasoned campaigner Paul Stewart then issue press material which gives him profile.

On this basis, ‘Total Cainer’ – our Bobballs in-house Jonathan Cainer –predicts the DUP MEP candidate will be either Edwin Poots or Jeffrey Donaldson. And Total Cainer’s unsubstantiated Hail Mary guesswork – and he’s going way long on this one – probably edges towards Pootsie as the candidate. (Are we really posting this up? Ed.)

Our conspiracy theory runs that Donaldson or Poots is preparing to run in the Euro elections and will be prepared to resign as an MLA. Therefore a successor is being groomed in the DUP stronghold constituency (*stop sniggering at the back*) to win easy acceptance to the Assembly.

Hence the magisterial intervention of Paul Stewart at the Trust. Going in on an easy issue (opposing the destitution of our gallant senior citizens... on the back of a big, popular local petition) might be the start of something.

If Paul Stewart turns up anywhere else anytime soon then we expect immediate induction into the Royal Observer Corp and VIP admission into the Society of Astrologers (with Oak Leaves, Clusters and Bar).

If Paul Stewart quietly puts his feet up and does nothing else in 2009, and we’re totally wrong, then Staff at Bobballs reserve the right to quietly erase this crazeee prediction faster than you can say ‘Hail Mary guesswork’.

So what’s it gonna be Paul? What’re gonna do Edwin? Do you feel lucky Jeffrey? (And what the f**k is Total Cainer still doing in the building?)