Orde does a Miliband...

By PR Cracken

Just back from hols and couldn’t ignore this whopper. Looks like our own Hugh ‘Huge’ Orde is auditioning for the top job. Again.

Ol’ PR was never one for clever sub-text. I so nearly misunderstood Mad Max as an edgy documentary on Australian street crime. [Early 80s needed an evolutionary shock in factualised programme making. Why not Alan Whicker On Street Gangs? Christ, if Sky One can tolerate a pug-faced, over-filled version of Casper the Friendly Ghost grimacing his way through the wigga fistshake in South Central, then why not Whickers?]


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Casper: ghostly------------------ --Kemp: ghastly

So, erm, are there any clever cryptic clues in Duncan Campbell’s article?

Biography of Robert Peel randomly left on table in opening paragraph. NI policing and the transformative PR job within the US Eastern Seaboard (read Met and black community?). Briefing Presidents/Presidential hopefuls (makes it a piece of piss to rap with a mere London Mayor). That helpful question about Blair (‘If you take a senior position, expect to be under the spotlight. That's the world we live in.’). That jokey ‘Help Liz!’ to conclude. Worst of all, the ‘I’m-committed-to-my-present-job-and-have-no-plans-at-the-moment’ sign off.

Hmpt. It’s all so confusing and unclear. What’s he really driving at?

Anyone familiar with The Sun’s backpages during Ronaldo’s ‘come and get me pleas’ to Real might have some sound insight.

The Guardian seems to be emerging as the gazette of the alternative prospectus... and possibly the lexicon of political also-rans. But perhaps both Miliband and Orde can yet make it to the top jobs in their fields. Both are politicians of some considerable talent - though Orde has the advantage of not having hordes of backbenchers irritated at apparent manoeuvrings and time-consuming, distracting grasping for a job not yet vacant. Best of luck Millers!

Recent claptrap about the policing and justice ministries deviates away from where the real nexus of power lies. So who will be the next PSNI chief constable? How will the horse-trading in the Policing Board go? Bit of a Gordian knot this one. What on earth is going to happen in that Board?

We may know the answer to that sooner rather than later (if Hugh and Liz have anything to do with it perhaps.)