The greatest-ever threat to our Great British way of life…

By Daily Mail staff writer

This tiny island nation has endured much over the centuries. Uppity corporals and all manner of oily Foreign tyke have been dealt a good, old-fashioned British what-for over the years.

We’ve seen off countless terror weapons. When the German Zeppelin plundered our coastal towns, we met the threat with a furrowed brow and a Webley revolver attached to some plywood (are you referring to the Royal Flying Corps? Ed.). When the German U-Boat declared unrestricted warfare on our shipping, we nobly took out their torpedoes by sending in wave after wave of poorly defended merchant navy vessels. When the German football team set up shop in Wembley, we handed them a great British naff orff and won the cup for Her Madge.

In times of crisis, our lips got stiffer, we soldiered on and Johnny Foreigner (aka. ‘Germany’) usually paid dearly their treachery.

But we now face the greatest possible threat to our way of life.

According to a rival newspaper:

‘Sharp rises in the price of basmati rice are threatening to have a huge impact on Indian restaurants in Britain, with the curry house staple coming under pressure from soaring costs and panic buying.’

It adds…

‘Stories abound within the curry restaurant trade of establishments that use lower-quality grains to make Pulao rice instead of basmati, the traditional ingredient. Unscrupulous wholesalers are also accused of mixing basmati with broken rice and low-grade alternatives.’

Fear the worst. Will our great British korma be served up with the long grains from Uncle Ben? Whatever next? It's an outrage. Just like Ruby Wax, American football and the US dollar, we won’t tolerate second-rate American crap.

We fought wars usually against lightly armed opposition & thousands of miles from home to defend our way of life. And now this. Well done, Gordon!

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